To Marry Now While I am in College, or Marry Later?

A young man asked if he could marry while in College. He said, “I am 22 years old College student. I dated a girl for over 2 years. We had a lot of fun together. We studied together as well. My family advised me to go and marry her because she was afraid that we might have sex before marriage. Both of us work part-time. Our collective salaries even do not suffice us if we move to a new apartment on our own. I am thinking to get married while I am still living with my mom and siblings.”

Thousands of College students face the same dilemma every year if they can get married while in College or wait until after graduation. Sometimes there’s a lot of pressure coming from families who are afraid of those young partners to indulge in sex outside of marriage. Some girls’ families as well may be afraid of seeing their daughter get knocked up while still in College.

I also see a lot of younger couples who got married and behave like mature enough. They never skip a class. They also focus a lot on completing their College more than anything else. They even have managed not to bring a child to the world until they are financially stable. I know that is hard because not all young couples know what’s like planning and keeping a family. For many, multitasking is not in their dictionary. I know College assignments can be so challenging, so is making babies. 

No matter what you want in life, do not listen and yield to any outside pressure to go and get married when you are not yet academically, financially, physically, and psychologically ready. A lot of parents were still stuck in the past.  They think they stay in their home country where everything seemed easier for them than here now. Many parents may pressure their younger kids to get married so they'd see their grandchildren before they die. However, such thinking is not bad, but those parents should reflect with the modern world where education is valued and hard work is treasured. In the past, couples would come together, get married in their early 20s, and then start a family. They lived in their own homes. Some did not need to pay electricity and water bills, rental fees, car insurance, and school tuition. On the top of that, life was cheap if compared to that we have now in the West. In this modern world, we need to pay a lot. We can’t live in our mom’s nest to raise our own family.

Today it’s common for couples just to get married without pre-planning. Getting married in College often creates many problems that many young lovers are blind to see the repercussion of such early marriage on their education. Many are dependent on their parents to support them, so the question is - why would you bring in an extra family member when you’ve not grow up from your mom’s nest?

 I often encourage young partners to wait until they have graduated and completed their education. I’m not against marriage, but what I am totally against is taking responsibility while studying. Such responsibility may prevent those young partners in love from completing College with a good grade or they may eventually drop out. When you are attending College, you’re working towards building your life from scratches. You’re doing all you can to live independently and freely. If you get married too soon just because of your parents are forcing you to do so, you are allowing yourself to continue living in your parents' home in a miserable life. Such life is far from pleasure, joy and,  privacy.

Even if you can move with your own life, you need to know that you are still young and unskilled. Because of the current high record of an unemployment and your lack of prior work experience, your chance to earn a good income is very slim. I’ve seen a lot who moved back in their families when they get laid off. I also saw man’s family members causing more trouble in their son’s marriage. The two who got married at a young age do not know how to avoid getting a divorce. I don't mean young couples are not as smart as adult couples. The teen partners are less likely to stay together than the adult. The ways in which they handle and work out marital disagreements could be the problem. What I mean by that is there is a high possibility of more stress, family pressure, and heartache will be in store for you if you get married early while in College. I also saw a lot of teen couples who often deal with relationship conflict that come from their parents.  I believe taking a decision without forethought will make you regret later. 

The reason why I am arguing to wait a little longer is your College years are the exact time when the young men and women are starting to explore their own senses of value, make plans and goals for themselves, and discover what you want to do in life after College. My advice is marrying after you graduate is good for you, your sanity, and future joy.