7 valid reasons newly married couples should go for therapy

When is the best time for couples to go for therapy? Relationships experts say if you really want happily ever after, then you really have to work hard at it and there is no better time to start than right after your honeymoon.

It doesn't matter how perfect you are or seem to be, couples really don't have to wait till their relationship hits the rock before they use the help of a therapist to revive their failing relationship.

It also helps couples in love to get to know themselves better and love each other more  so they can maintain that initial connection they had over time, to overcome obstacles that threaten to break them apart.

Lisa Fogarty of SheKnows lists 7 reasons why new couples need to go for therapy:

1. You can define your ideas about commitment: Seems easy enough to say you want to commit to one person for the rest of your life, right? But the word "commitment" has different meanings for different people and it's important you're on the same page with your partner. "Whether you know it or not, you and your partner will define your relationship," Tessina said. "If you don't know what your relationship means to both of you, you risk repeating past mistakes, getting stuck in uncomfortable roles, or fighting about what a healthy relationship is. Talk about what you mean by words such as relationship, commitment, love, and faithfulness. You'll be amazed by what you learn."
2. You can discuss finances — finally: After sex, money is the biggest generator of problems in marriage, Tessina said — which isn't a huge surprise, is it? When we get married, a lot of us assume we should pool our money and share and share alike — if only it were that simple. "A disparity in income can mean struggling about who pays for what, or whose income determines your lifestyle," Tessina said. "Different financial habits (one likes to save, the other spends more, or doesn't keep track) can become a source of argument. For many couples, separating your money makes things run smoother; you don't wind up struggling for control. You can split expenses evenly, or work out a percentage share if your incomes are different." Financial matters become a lot easier to solve when you have the help of an objective third party.
3. Therapy offers a safe place to trash each other's families (just kidding!): Let's face it - Unless you've been blessed with extraordinary in-laws, it can be difficult to learn how to marry an entire family — which is kind of what you do when you marry any one person. Tessina explains family issues that can be addressed in therapy: "If one of you has a lot of family or friends, and the other does not, you can find out what those relationships mean. Where will you spend holidays? If there are family members who have problems, such as addiction or mental illness, how much will that impact your relationship?"
4. Therapy can help make your sex life even better (even though it's explosive right now): Many newlyweds, who can barely keep their hands off of each other, would laugh their heads off at the idea that they could use help in the sex department. But a marriage is for life (we hope) and Dr. Robert Jaffe at Open Horizons Therapy reminds us that many people have unaddressed sexual insecurities and fantasies they don't feel comfortable bringing up. Instead of crossing your fingers that they go away, therapy helps make the couple feel comfortable discussing sex and resolving potential issues.
5. It can help you deal with anger and strong emotions: In my opinion, one of the worst parts about being married, especially if you're an introvert who prefers to bottle up her feelings, is that you simply don't have the luxury of skipping town for a few days when the going gets rough. "We all get upset from time to time," Tessina said. "If you are usually good at defusing each other's anger, and being supportive through times of grief or pain, your emotional bond will deepen as time goes on. If your tendency is to react to each other and make the situation more volatile and destructive, you need to correct that problem."
6. Therapy gives you a chance to ask questions that matter:"No one is trained to know what the important questions are to ask a prospective mate," Jaffe said. "Usually, the only training we get about intimate relationships comes from observing the interaction between our parents, and the parents of a few of our friends. The selection of a mate is often done without thoroughly thinking through many of the issues that will surface in the relationship." Therapy allows new couples to ask each other questions they might not have previously thought were important. "We may ask our prospective mate how many children he/she wants, but not what child rearing practices they favor," Jaffe said. "Is one person messy, and the other neat, and how will they handle the difference? Do you like my friends, and do I like yours? Is one person outgoing and the other introverted? How will the two of you handle that? Then there is the issue of the style of communication. Generally, we interpret information in three different ways: audio, visual, and kinesthetic (feelings). If one partner uses visual processing (I see what you're saying) and the other partner uses kinesthetic (this doesn't feel right to me), the potential for miscommunication is heightened."
7. Early counseling keeps you open-minded about therapy:If things are mostly roses and chocolate right now, if a couple is open enough to seek counseling as newlyweds, it speaks volumes about how much they value their relationship and the steps they'll be open to taking later on, should bigger problems ever surface. "While nothing can insure that a couple will stay married for a specific length of time, if both people have had a positive experience with premarital counseling, their chances of resolving their difficulties are significantly increased by their willingness to seek professional help later on," Jaffe said.