6 sex tips you'll actually try

The internet, the print media, even exaggerated tweets and status updates are filled with bragging advice on how to have a super duper exciting thrilling sex life... because an ordinary sex life isn’t good enough, right? Wrong. As long as your sex life is satisfying, physically, emotionally, and psychologically, and healthy within your relationship, then ordinary is absolutely delightful. Many perfectly happy and satisfied couples engage in no more than three sexual positions on a regular basis. They aren’t swinging from chandeliers, they aren’t eating sushi off each other’s naked bodies, and there’s no outdoor sex on the bonnet of the car. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of that (within the confines of the law, of course).

Creativity is terrific. Variety is integral to a spicy, interesting, and stimulating sex life. But small changes can transform a sex life that’s flagging into boringness or is deep down in the doldrums. Contrary to popular belief (and those exaggerated status updates) wild and crazy simply isn’t necessary to spice up your bedroom satisfaction. Trust us. 

1. Take your time

Time is precious and we often feel we don’t have enough of it, for anything, let alone sex. So prioritise your love life and each other by taking regular time, and long amounts of time when you can (not every session together). That’s a mood enhancer right there. Light some candles to signal a sensuous, slow mood. Tease and please one another by breaking the routine of what you usually do for each other during foreplay and stretch it out.

2. Ask for what you want

Whether that is sincerely, flirtatiously or dirty, make communication work in a sexy way for you. It signals to your partner that you desire them, which is not only important but also very hot. Sometimes there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a sex life, except frequency, or that one person feels like they do all the asking and initiating. So if you’re the more passive partner, then speak up! And if you’re the one doing all the asking usually, change the way your initiate, and encourage your partner to do more of it too. Win-win!

3. Be generous...and be surprising

You don’t have to be crazy, but you can try one slightly new thing, one new way of touching, stroking, caressing or kissing that lets your partner know that even though you know each other really well, doing even a little something different is still possible together. Offer a massage, kiss from the ankles up. Don’t go straight for the erogenous zones. But when you do, by all means linger, and be a generous lover.

4. Take turns allowing each other to control and direct the sexual experience

Often couples think the best sex is an equally shared experience. And this can be very true. Mutual satisfaction can be taken in turn too, though, so let each other play out your desires. You don’t need props (unless you want them) – it can exciting enough to just have one person calling all the shots so to speak.

5. Engage in some PDA

Go out on the town and be affectionate with one another, whether you are on a date or out with friends. Be that deliriously happy, touchy feely couple. It will get you in the mood and remind you that you are sexy together... which you can continue once you get home! Don't be just the couple who loves each other - be the lovebirds who can't keep their hands off each other.

6. Buy some sexy underwear

Lingerie. There's a reason why it works every single time. Buy it. Wear it. Appreciate it.